Power of Being You
As part of the ‘Power series’ the topic that I wanted to share and explore this week is the ‘Power of Being You’. Generally, our instant response to the thought of being ourselves is “Obviously! I am my usual self most of the time. I am aware that it is vital to be my authentic self with each passing moment, each hour, each day of my life and that’s what I typically follow as well.” Isn’t it?
Here, I will like to put across two simple questions for you to ponder upon:
1.Do you really know who you are? (Please don’t confuse it with what you have accomplished) and
2. Do people from different parts of your life know you and experience you differently?
Who am I?” Not until recent years, did I realize that I needed to take a pause and step back in life to reflect on this question and my existence as a whole. At an early age, as any other vicenarian, I had plunged into life as that seemed the best way forward. I was excited to start my career, rise the corporate ladder and make a mark. In the meanwhile, life was happening at home and as a young mother I was doing the balancing act of managing personal, professional, and family life. In the midst of all this, I exactly don’t know when but I lost touch with my real self. The hunger to succeed (the definition of success not essentially being mine back then) led me towards being task-oriented, staying in a fire-fighting mode almost every day, and experiencing undue pressure of trying to fit into everyone’s good books. Eventually, without investing time to reflect on knowing my intrinsic values, my passion, my beliefs, my motivators, and my interest areas I don’t know when, but eventually I stopped being me!
This automatically led me to the other question which was ‘Did people from different parts of my life know me and experienced me differently?’ The answer was a big ‘Yes’! My life had got ‘compartmentalized’. I was a very different person at home in comparison to when I was with friends and was a completely different person at work. Interestingly, certain key elements which were an intrinsic part of my identity like creativity, humour, enjoying spontaneity, and serenity were completely lost and almost missing across all areas of my life. And trust me, all of this happened unconsciously because there was no guiding force or trusted mentor telling me to invest time in developing self-awareness through self-reflection. Subsequently, I felt like part of me was missing in my life but I couldn’t quite put my finger on what exactly it was back then.
As said by Henry David Thoreau, “Not until are we lost do we begin to understand ourselves.” It is important thus, to reflect on who you are and what are your core values, beliefs, motivations, dreams, likes-dislikes, and experiences that make you, you! If you are feeling off-balance and have a feeling that you are not enjoying your current state of being, follow some of the suggestions shared below:
- Reflect and write down what defines you and drives you – It will help you understand what shapes your identity, list down your intrinsic values and beliefs, what inspires you, and what makes you happy. Our values change over time; thus, you need to understand them and build a life around them as much as possible to unlock a higher degree of alignment and fulfillment.
- Focus more to express, not impressing – Be your authentic self as much as possible, identify things that are non-negotiables for you, and don’t compromise on them. Constant comparisons with others and meeting the expectation of those around you can, not only make you exhausted but also leave you feeling incomplete. Breathe and ask yourself “Do I need to act or react to every comparison or opinion around me?”
- Align your Triple A’s – As stated by Marshall Goldsmith in his book ‘The Earned Life’ (Chapter 5), you can truly experience magic if you can create alignment between your Action, Ambition, and Aspiration. The Triple-A model stands for Action – ‘What you do?’, Ambition – ‘What you want to achieve?’ and Aspiration – ‘What you want to become?’ It is a powerful model to help you be in alignment with your true self and experience greater purpose and fulfillment in your life.
- Reflecting on who you want to become vs. Who you are today – It is important to know who you are at this point and who you want to be in the future. In this manner, you can align your personal and professional goals with the future-self you want to become. As you do this exercise there may be deeper realizations, to the extent that it may lead you to making a career transition or even going through drastic changes of a career shift. But, it will definitely lead you to being closer to who you want to become as an individual in your life.
- Practice Gratitude – There are so many personal qualities, skills, relationships, experiences and things in your life to be grateful for. Take out time to practice gratitude every day. Compare yourself to your past and see if you have grown as an individual. Try to be the best version of yourself every day and try to be more authentic than what you were yesterday.
By being in touch with yourself every day, you will be able to steer your life in the direction you want instead of life steering you in any possible direction. You will experience the magic unfold as you discover self-alignment and greater meaning in life. As said by Christina Grimmie “Be different; be unique; be yourself.”
More Power of ‘being you’ to you! 💥
Keep smiling and keep shining 🔆
PS. – I will recommend the book ‘The Earned Life’ by Marshall Goldsmith to help you discover your true self and deeply understand and unfold ways of leading a happier and more fulfilled life.